5 Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent. 6 But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.
14 But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and to commit fornication. 15 So hast thou also them that hold the doctrine of the Nicolaitans, which thing I hate. 16 Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.
There aren't that many things that the Lord Jesus Christ says He hates. In this short chapter, twice He says he hates something associated with Nicolaitans. First it is their deeds; then their doctrine. Crucially, He seems to be willing for them to repent; i.e. He can still love them while hating what they do, and what they teach.
First, it is the deeds, then the doctrine. This can be how we "progress". We start by doing something, then we "teach" others to do the same. Whatever the Nicolaitans were doing, it became so accepted that they were comfortable proclaiming it as the right way.
How sad when we come to the Word and instead of it enlightening and enlivening us, we wrest it to justify actions we have taken. Have you ever looked for, seized on a verse or more to "prove" your own point? It is a common enough failure, and one I have been guilty of in the past. The Lord is gracious and has forgiven me many wrongs. Therefor, I am constrained by the love of Christ to seek grace and compassion that I may be forgiving to others who have made this same error. Please pray for me and yourself.
Second, having established a certain way of behaving, these men started to teach others to do the same. It is so powerful a problem that the Lord warns that He himself will fight against them if they don't change (repent).
What teaching could possibly be so bad that He would "make war" with His sharp twoedged sword? (That word only in Rev 1, 2, and Heb 4:12.) What could make Him "fight" like He does (cf Rev 19:11-15-19-21) when He "wars" against "the beast, and the kings of the earth"? Perhaps it is related to something the Nicolaitans have in common with the beast and kings.
Throughout History there have been (broadly) 2 kinds of power, 2 kinds of ruler, 2 kinds of character in leadership. It seems a cop out to say "christlike" and "unchristlike", but at the core of it is a heart like Christ's.
Who is the the Son of David, the heir to his throne? Who has all authority, but washes the disciples feet? Is He the servant-king, the shepherd-lamb? Does He put Himself out for those He leads, or does He demand respect, glory, and ease? It is no surprise that He taught what He modelled.
Matthew 20:25-28
25 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. 26 But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; 27 and whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: 28 even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.
We should see it as normal that His leaders would be more about serving and less about ordering. Peter would go on to write of elders that they would have to work at being not "lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock." (1Peter 5:3) Peter and Matthew recording a compound kata (down / upon) + kurio (lord) saying that Christian leaders dont "control, subjugate" or "exercise dominion over" those in their care. If you read Peter's fifth chapter you might be surprised that as the younger is to yield to the elder, so too the elder as part of "all" needs to yield and be clothed with humility. Notice the lack of instructions on how to exercise dominion. As the sheep follow the Good Shepherd out of love (John 10), they will follow an under shepherd to the chief Shepherd when there is love.
This seems quite far from the Nicolaitans above. Consider the root words for this strange word: neekos = "conquest" + laos = "people; ones own populace". Nicolaitans are those who do or teach the idea that someone is supposed to have "conquest" over God's people.
Christlike leadership puts the needs of the flock first. Nicolaitan leadership subjugates the needs of the flock for the needs (and sometimes wants!) of the leader.
Please, if you are in any kind of leadership, do what is needed for those under your care.